Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Much Better Day!

I realize my last two posts have been rough, so I thought this one needed to be positive!

Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow. ~Albert Einstein

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me. Bless His Holy name. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not His benefits. Who forgives all of your sins. Who heals all of your disease. Who redeems your life from destruction. Who crown you with loving kindness and tender mercies. Psalms 103:1-4

I have hope for tomorrow. I am not feeling the best, but I know what God has for me. He has given me a wonderful husband and great kids. I am so very thankful that it is me that is going through this and not them. I met with Jaela's teacher this morning. She is such a wonderful woman of God. I am thankful that Jaela has a christian teacher that prays, and encourages Jaela every day. That is something that I have prayed for and will pray for each year.

In my last post, I said that Jonah was on his way to Toys-R-Us... well he got what he has been wanting for a while. A dinosaur thingy... All of our kids have been playing with the giant bubble wrap from Memaw and Pepaw. (Princess was freaked out!)...and Today is Jeremiah's birthday!!! Here's some pictures. Hope everyone has a good day.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rough Day!

Yesterday I passed out. My platelet levels were too low, so I got another injection of NPlate and steroids. I also got sleeping I slept some!! They are going to do a steroid treatment for a while and I will go back more frequently for platelet counts. I am worn out! I have a parent teacher conf in the morning at 7:30, Jaela gets out of school at 10:30, it's Jeremiah's birthday, Jeremiah speaks to the middle schoolers at church....busy busy! At some point Jeremiah wants to go to Genghis Grill too! I have a cake to make, presents to finish, valentines to finish and 4 kids to entertain!! Tomorrow will be so very busy, but that's life! Our worship team is playing at a charity event that is a little over an hour away on Friday, and then we have a worship team and friends in from England on Saturday. Then, maybe we will slow down! {yeah right!!}
Jonah and Jeremiah are on their way to Toys-R-Us right now to spend some of Jonah's birthday money. He was so excited to have "lots of money!!" Speaking of birthday stuff... Today I was at walmart with Joelle. I asked her what she wanted to get for her Daddy for his birthday. She tapped her chin with her pointer finger and said "somping shudar free!" {something sugar free!} So, she picked out some sugar free candy.
Today, while at school, a boy gave Jaela a chocolate rose. I mentioned Grant in an earlier post. He is the little boy that chases Jaela around. He gave her the rose, and she was on cloud 9! She was so proud that she wanted to call everyone and tell them. So cute! She went tonight and got him a small box of chocolates and will give it to him at their Valentines Day party.

I am hoping that my health can stay normal for a few days so that we can get all of this stuff done. Jeremiah goes to the Dr. tomorrow to see how his new insulin is working and also to talk about his high cholesterol.
Happy Birthday to my wonderful hubby!!!

Monday, February 8, 2010

No sleep.

I am getting really tired of NO SLEEP. It is a good thing and a bad thing all in one, I guess. I get quiet time...Just me and God... Ok ok ok. Jeremiah snoring, and talking in his sleep, Princess and Daisy in our bed. Not exactly quiet, but I take what I can get with 4 kids and Jeremiah!!!
In all of the mess of Jeremiah being laid off, ITP, cancer and so on, I keep seeing how blessed we are. I am also reminded of my vow to my husband. I promised to love him in sickness and in health. Let me be the first to tell you how thankful I am for Jeremiah. He has been so wonderful through all of this. He has cried with me, been angry with me, and reminded me to rely on God. I can not, will not, and do not want to even imagine doing this without him. I have been through cancer without a supportive husband, and it is not easy. I am so thankful and blessed.
This morning, I made myself get out of bed and go to church. I have been so tired and wiped out, and really wanted to stay in bed! My kids have been asking for the past 3 days "do we have church yet?" I guess it is because I didn't go to Church last week. To be honest, I was angry with God. I was in "why me" mode. I am still working through things, and it will take some time. Please know that I am NOT turning away from God!! There is a process of working one's way through tough times. I keep pleading with God. I need for my kids to have one healthy parent. I need for my kids to have understanding that we will always be there.
I said before that I would have good days and bad, well today was hard. I had a person come to me and ask/say a very heartless comment. I was hurt and bothered. I thought to myself- why the heck did I get out of bed?! Marty's message was really good. I needed to hear it. I was sitting in my seat on the front row, and a lady came to me and gave me a hug. She whispered I love you in my ear. Then handed me a check. I was blown away. I don't even know this lady very well, and just met her a week or so ago. I don't know if she will ever know how blessed I was. I am not talking about the amount of money. It was the "I love you" that got me. Through her, God reminded me that his love for me is bigger than anything. It is bigger than my fears, bigger than my pain, bigger than my frustration, bigger than anything...and most of all, His love is bigger than cancer. He is going to love me through this tough time, even if I have "why me" moments. I needed that reminder. Jeremiah's dad says "Quit telling God how big your problems are, and start telling your problems how BIG your God is." So today, I am thankful, and I am very blessed.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Frosted Flakes.

"Give me frosted flakes. Give me manna for today. Just today. Give me enough wisdom, give me enough patience. Give me enough courage. Give me enough love to handle this day. And as best I can, God, I will trust that when you wake me in the morning, you will be there to help me face my day." -Marty

A while ago, our preacher did a sermon titled "Frosted Flakes... They're GGRRRREEEAAATTT! He compared manna to frosted flakes. Manna was a sweet white flake that God provided. He provided just enough for that day... This has helped me to remember that God will not give us more than we can handle. Even if we feel like we are overwhelmed, God knows that we can do it. Kinda like a coach on the side lines yelling "You can do it!!" Jeremiah said I am going into the boxing ring with cancer, and that I will knock it out. I have my husband coach, (lol) but more importantly, I have an almighty coach. I had my frosted flakes this morning... Here we go!

Thursday, February 4, 2010


I have my book and prayer blanket ready to go. I start my radiation treatments in the morning. I will be going to MD Anderson, here we go! I am not afraid or worried. I know what to expect. They will take good care of me. I tend to give nurses/doctors a run for their money because I do so much research. Lol! We will see if these people can handle me :o) Jeremiah and I have gotten so many encouraging messages, phone calls, and texts. Thanks for that. It means a lot to us! We have a sweet friend bringing us dinner and a lot of people willing to help! The good news is, these treatments should not make me sick. I may be really tired, but I would take tired over sick any day!!! I know that God will use this to do something... what?? I don't know, but I know He will. I will blog tomorrow and let you all know how it is.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Jonah's Birthday Fun

Fun Pirate/Monster Truck party!! We made pizza, had cake, and opened presents. Jonah got a card and money from Memaw and Pepaw. Pop Pop and Gramms sent him a box of goodies. He got lots and lots of phone calls!! I love seeing his face light up when he gets a call or card in the mail!! Love my sweet boy!

long night and Jonah's BiRtHdAy!!!

What a looooong night. I have not been to sleep yet. I was up all night, sick as could be...and around 1:30a Jaela was up feeling cruddy too. She finally went back to sleep around 5ish... Needless to say, IS IT NAP TIME YET???
Happy Birthday to my sweet Jonah!!!! 4 years old today!! I will take pictures of pizza making, cake decorating, and present opening, and post later!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Cancer Sucks.


The worst word in the dictionary.
187 people die from cancer every minute.
1,479 people die from cancer every day.
3,483 people are diagnosed with a form of cancer EVERY DAY.

Well, this past week, that was me. I have ovarian cancer. Although I may have cancer, it does NOT have me. What I do have is a strong faith, support system, and God that is a healer. I may not feel like this everyday, because it is a process, but I know I will be ok. I plan on blogging my way through it. For one- for my own strength and encouragement, and for two- to encourage and strengthen others that are going through it. We may be in for a roller coaster ride! Guess it is only fair that I say--- buckle your seat belt!!! I start radiation on Feb. 5th.